Random Thoughts

1. Someone please tell me I didn’t just read this. 2. During the off-season, the Eagles signed Jeremiah Trotter after he was cut by Washington. Yesterday they signed Hugh Douglas after he was cut by Jacksonville. This leads me to wonder if they will sign Troy Vincent, Bobby Taylor and Carlos Emmons next year. Will Duce come back, too?

The Other World Cup

No, it’s not the World Cup. It’s not even the one that MLB has yet to get off the ground. No, this World Cup is the last bastion of quality, organized hockey. The tournament opened yesterday with Finland shutting out the Czech Republic, 4-0. The United States opens their early play with a game tonight against Canada in Montreal. For those of you who missed it, which I would guess is most of you, the U.S. team is backstopped by Flyers’ goalie Robert Esche and is populated with several holdovers from the 1996 World Cup-winning team (Brian Leetch, Tony Amonte, Mike Modano and cheap shot artist extraordinaire Chris Chelios). Looking at the rosters on paper, I would say the tournament is Canada’s to lose. The only problem with this is that those of us from Philadelphia know all about what happens when you only take into account how things look on paper. That being said, I still say it’s Canada’s tournament. They’re led by 39-year-old Mario Lemieux, who is playing for king and country probably for the last time. Throw in the fact that Canada lost to the U.S. in the last World Cup final I think it all adds up to a tourney win for the Great White North.

Third and One

It has been an unbelievable summer. This past Saturday I was at my third wedding since April, and I still have one more to go. I have a had a great time at all three, though I think I may have enjoyed this one a little bit less than the other two since I was not in this one. I was with my girlfriend’s family, so that was good, and there was an open bar with plenty of Corona, so that was great. The strangest part of the night, however, was during the introductions. The bridal party was introduced to “Beautiful People” by Marilyn Manson and the bride and groom were introduced to “Bulls On Parade” by Rage Against the Machine. Both are good songs, just not exactly songs one would expect at a wedding reception. So I now have one wedding left and yes, I am in this one, too. No word yet on the introduction music.

Show Me The Money!!

Lest anyone forget that there are other issues in this presidential election besides each candidate’s service record -- or lack thereof -- comes news from the Census Bureau stating that, for the third straight year, there was an increase in the number of Americans officially classified as living in poverty. This number, 35.8 million, equates to 12.5 percent of the population living in poverty. Even more alarming than this, though, is the number of children living in poverty. That number, 12.9 million, equates to a staggering 17.6 percent of the child population in America. So, to sum up, George W. Bush, who has bankrupted every business he’s ever run, has instituted economic policies that are responsible for three straight years of increased poverty in this country. Add this to his blank service record, his religious fanaticism, and his completely reckless attitude towards the environment and it makes one wonder how anyone would vote for this man for town council, let alone president.

Random Thoughts

1. Is it really too much to ask for Chris Wheeler to be fired posthaste? I turned on tonight’s game against Houston -- my first in almost a week -- and had to listen to his whining and, well, just his plain-old annoying personality. As my niece would say, "Icky." 2. Is there any better time to enjoy making fun of others -- and being made fun of yourself -- than a draft for a fantasy league? I had mentioned before that I had joined a fantasy football league. Our draft was last night and after every pick -- no matter who made it -- there were at least three insults about that pick. Fabulous. 3. My brother Chris has a theory that fantasy leagues in effect deteriorate a fan’s interest in his own team in favor of those individual players on his or her fantasy team. While there is some common sense to this point, I have always countered with the argument that fantasy leagues serve to increase my interest in a given league. Well, I have now come up with another argument: after watching the Eagles embarrass themselves the past three seasons in the NFC Championship Game, I had no reason to watch football. However, after participating in our fantasy draft Monday night, I am now ready for the season to start. I couldn’t care less what the Eagles do -- not because of the fantasy league, but because of the Eagles themselves -- and am very interested in what goes on in the rest of the league. Let’s go Colts!! (I have Peyton Manning.) 4. Is there any point to watching more Phillies’ games? The bullpen has just coughed up yet another game. The fielders have no life whatsoever, and what heart they do have -- Chase Utley -- isn't used by his inept manager. Said manager has done a complete 180 and is now more serene than a yoga teacher. Why am I wasting my time and money on this team?

Polling Place

Check out today's Daily Quickie on ESPN.com. Scroll to the bottom for a poll on when Larry Bowa will be fired. Submit your answer and then check out the results. It must be only Phillies fans that are voting.

Random Thought

This week's Random Thoughts has been condensed to one single thought. I've been trying to wrap my brain around it for a little while now, but I'm ready to give up. 1.)Does it make any sense whatsoever for a gym to have an elevator? Am I wrong, or does this defeat the purpose of going to the gym?

Starring Bobby Abreu as “Tin Man”

I was so mad watching last night’s game that I almost picked up my television and threw it through the window. The Phillies were down 9-5 in the top of the fourth inning. The Giants had two outs, runners on first and second and Marquis Grissom at the plate. He had two strikes and fouled a ball down the right field line that was coming down right at the corner of the stands where the ballgirl sits. Bobby Abreu, right fielder extraordinaire, came hustling over to make the play. As he got close to the railing, you could see him look down at the railing, look back up at the ball, slow down a little, and then -- again, dammit! -- short-arm the ball. Grissom was still alive. Two pitches later he hit a three run homer to make the score 12-5 and put the game out of reach. Larry Anderson, whose color commentary I generally enjoy since he will call players out if they make mistakes, had this to say: “You can’t go full tilt into that railing down there or you’re in trouble.” Are you insane L.A.? I seem to remember a ballplayer -- and is that the perfect term for him or what? -- named Derek Jeter doing exactly that on a play in the stands in extra innings of a game against Boston. Yes, Jeter got hurt on the play. But you know what? He made the damn play and his team won. Because that’s what ballplayers do. He wanted to make that play and he made it. And that’s what it all boils down to, doesn’t it? Throw away Larry Bowa’s attitude and Ed Wade’s Tom Hagen act and all the injuries they’ve had. Throw it all out and you’re left with one simple fact. The Phillies don’t have any heart. They have no will to win. On paper, they have the most talent of any team in the National League East, yet they remain seven games behind the Atlanta Braves. Why? They don’t want it bad enough. And until that changes, they have no chance.

Just Like A Yo-Yo

Let's see here . . . over the last two and a half weeks, the Phillies have lost six of seven, then won five of six and finally lost three of four. Sense a pattern here? Consistent only in their inconsistency, they have gone from a half game behind Atlanta to seven games behind in that same two and a half week stretch. Highlighting the fans' frustrations was the Colorado series, which saw the Phils' offense show up for only one game and the starting pitchers show up for all four. When asked about his team's offense, Bowa said, "It's a mystery." Isn't it Bowa's job to solve the mystery? And if he isn’t up to the task -- which he's clearly not -- then isn’t it up to GM Ed Wade to find someone who is? Believe it or not, there is still time. Certainly not to catch the Braves, but it's there for the wildcard. We're three and a half games behind the Cubs, with the Padres a game out and the Giants -- who just so happen to be in town for a three game set this weekend -- two games out. The Phillies don't play San Diego or Chicago again this season, and will be done with San Francisco after Sunday. I am now imploring Wade to fire Larry Bowa. Give the fans a reason to be excited about baseball games again. A new ballpark will only provide so much of a spark, Ed, and that spark is now gone. Take a lesson from the Pirates -- if you want to be successful at the box office, you have to be successful on the field. And for this team to be successful on the field, Bo must go. Three and a half games out, 47 to go. Can this be made up? Time will tell, but I'm afraid I already know the answer.

Random Thoughts

It took me two days to realize that I never posted this week's column. I guess my lone reader never noticed, either. Anyway, on to the column. 1. You're batting leadoff for a team that is struggling to stay in a pennant race (let's be honest, here). The week before your team lost 6 of 7 games, though the boys bounced back and have won the last two games. Tonight you’re facing a pitcher that hasn't thrown a major league pitch all year. I would think that you would want to take one strike, maybe two, before swinging so you and your teammates can get some sense of what he throws. Not to mention that, despite being a 12-year veteran, the guy may have some nerves working against him. Thank you, Jimmy Rollins, for swinging at the very first pitch Sterling Hitchcock had to offer during last Thursday's game against San Diego. (And I agree that the point is moot since the Phils won the game, but, dammit, there is such a thing as smart baseball. Isn't there?) 2. During Tuesday night's game against Colorado -- which you may have read about -- several times in-between innings the video board showed an elderly woman in the stands. (This is being generous, folks. I swear I saw the Grim Reaper sitting next to her.) The crowd, with hardly anything else to cheer for, took to the golden oldie and screamed wildly for her. Is this what is passing for entertainment these days at major league ballparks? Why do we even need entertainment? Our team is trying to make the playoffs, you know. 3. In-between the top and bottom of the ninth inning Tuesday night, the video board was plastered with image after image imploring the crowd to "Make Some Noise!!" Why? I don’t know who to be madder at here. Should I be more mad at the Phillies' video board operator(s) for assuming that the fans are stupid they don’t know when to cheer, or should I be more mad at the fans for actually buying into the message and cheering when it came on? This is a tough call since I do enjoy being a misanthrope, but I would like to think that when their team is going into the bottom of the ninth down by two runs they will know they need to cheer.

Rockies 5, Phillies 4

Last night's game can be broken down into three easily definable categories: THE GOOD I had the distinct um, pleasure I suppose, of taking Shawn to see his first game at Citizen's Bank Park. To quote him: "Damn." That was his reaction upon walking through the left field gates, moseying over to the edge of the stands and getting a look at the field while the Rockies were going through batting practice. It's a reaction that I still have after 7 or 8 games when I stop looking at what is on the field and instead look at the field. Vicente Padilla returned from the disabled list last night and pitched five nearly perfect innings, giving up just three hits and no walks while striking out five. Would that the Phils could get that kind of outing from all of their starting pitchers. Unfortunately, they've had Paul Abbott -- he of the nine walks in five and two-thirds innings pitched. THE BAD Tim Worrell came in as the de facto closer again last night, sporting a one-run lead. With some help from Jim Thome and Bobby Abreu, he managed to blow the game open for Colorado and give them a two-run lead. Jason Michaels homered to left-center field last night, which should have set the Liberty Bell off. However, instead of ringing and lighting up the ballpark, the Bell just sat there half-lit and immobile. According to the Phillies' web site, "[t]owering 100 feet above street level, the Liberty Bell rings after every Phillies home run. The bell and clapper sway from side to side independently, its neon edges light and pulsate and its ring can be heard throughout the park." Not last night, I'm, afraid. The video board that's part of the left field scoreboard, billed on the Phillies' web site as "the largest LED video display board in the National League (39'5" x 69'7")," is periodically used for replays throughout the game. We were treated to a lovely replay of Placido Polanco's fly out to right field late in the game. However, we did not get to see a replay of Todd Helton's smash in the 9th inning that hit the top of the left field wall. Even Helton, who had rolled into second base with a double, was staring up looking for a replay. On the next play, Helton was thrown out at third on a superb play by Chase Utley. Seconds later, of course, this play was shown on the board. Apparently, there is no rhyme or reason to the replay operator(s). THE UGLY I wound up with last night's tickets because my brother decided to join some friends in a suite. After agreeing to catch up with Tom and Shawn at the aforementioned left field gate, I arrived at about 5:30 to find Shawn already waiting for me. We talked the minutes away waiting on Tom when we finally saw him walk up -- dressed all in black. Black pants and a black polo shirt. I'm not lying. He called it his "Johnny Cash look." My question was, "Who are you -- Ben Stiller?"

Adding Injury To Injury

Providing further insulation to manager Larry Bowa, the Phillies announced today that left fielder Pat Burrell will undergo season-ending wrist surgery on Friday. There's no speculation yet as to who will replace Burrell. Assuming the Phillies don't acquire someone, the trio of Doug Glanville, Jason Michaels and Lou Collier probably will share the duties. Great.

Hindsight is 20/20

This one is just too easy to let pass. Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry ripped into President Bush's reaction to news of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks today at the Unity 2004 conference of minority journalists. "Had I been reading to children and had my top aide whispered in my ear, 'America is under attack,' I would have told those kids very politely and nicely that the president of the United States had something that he needed to attend to -- and I would have attended to it." Now, I'm no Bush supporter, and I do think he reacted atrociously when informed of the attacks, but I think this assault is out of line. I think it's Monday-morning-quarterbacking of the worst kind. I firmly believe that no one can truly know how he or she will react in any given situation until they are faced with that situation. So for Kerry to say he would've gotten out of there right away and taken care of business is ludicrous. Is it not possible that he would've sat there like a deer frozen in the headlights for 7 minutes?

Random Thoughts

I just got through a three day weekend during which I vegged a lot, so I apologize for the lame topics this week. 1. Is there any place to feel more self-conscious than in the gym? You walk in and you’re surrounded by a bunch of hardbody, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mr. Olympia wannabes who look like they can bench press you, meanwhile it’s all you can do not to huff and puff lifting 20 pounds over your head. Obviously, I need to work out more. 2.Why is that in all the debate about whether or not Larry Bowa should be fired, and over whose fault it is that the Phils stink, why is it that today is the first day I heard a writer publicly criticize Bowa’s strategy, er, lack thereof? I heard Dick Jerardi bring it up on today’s edition of Daily News Live. I have yet to see this in print in either the Inquirer or Daily News, despite it being plain as day that Bowa is over his head as a manager. Yes, the players need to shut up and play. Yes, they need to be less thin-skinned. But why is that no one has mentioned that there are hard-ass managers out there -- Lou Piniella, Buck Showalter -- who actually know how to win? Bowa is a blowhard who has won nothing. Can one of our esteemed baseball writers speak to that?

Flyers deals

The Flyers announced today that wingers Simon Gagne and Branko Radivojevic accepted the team’s qualifying offers. Per club policy, terms of the deals were not disclosed. (A standard qualifying offer is a one-year deal for 110% of the player’s salary from the previous year.) I answer this with a whopping, “Eh?!” Gagne is supposed to be one of the Flyers bright young stars, yet has had only one season of genuine, good play. Radivojevic was a throw in as part of the Mike Comrie swindle that left the Flyers with octogenarian Sean Burke.